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Our Story

Today, I am the guest post over at Stillborn and Still Breathing. My husband, Patrick, and I met on August 22nd, 2010.  We both quickly realized that this was different than any other relationship that had come before.  We fell in love fast and were engaged in April of 2011.  We got married on the… Continue reading Our Story

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This Platform from Which I Unwillingly Speak

While I've always been good at talking in small groups, I've never exactly been the kind of person that would want to stand in front of a crowd and speak, especially not about something so deeply personal.  Now suddenly here I am, with this giant platform of grief that I am being forced to stand… Continue reading This Platform from Which I Unwillingly Speak

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May is Pre-eclampsia Awareness Month and I Wish I Didn’t Have to Know That

Just a little reminder that the Promise Walk is coming up soon... In an effort to feel like we are doing something to honor Joshua's memory, and to maybe help prevent this kind of situation from happening again.  We are doing the Promise Walk for Pre-eclampsia this year. Here is the link for anyone that… Continue reading May is Pre-eclampsia Awareness Month and I Wish I Didn’t Have to Know That

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What Happens to all the Stuff?

A couple days ago this was my Facebook status: Dear Facebook, Please kindly remove the ads for pregnancy tests and all of this baby stuff before I throw my computer through the window! Sincerely, The girl who keeps desperately trying to block these ads even though they still keep showing up - aka a grieving… Continue reading What Happens to all the Stuff?

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The Truth Is…

Everyone keeps asking how we're doing.  I almost laugh for second when someone asks us that.  I mean how do you really think we are doing?  Do you want the easy answer or the real one? The truth is we  are coping.  We are hanging on by a thread some days, but we are still… Continue reading The Truth Is…

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A Mother’s Guilt

I admit it. I feel like it's all my fault. I have been told by every medical professional and every family member that it's ridiculous to blame myself for what happened, and yet I still do.  I feel like it's my fault that my body couldn't handle being pregnant.  In preeclampsia, basically the body doesn't… Continue reading A Mother’s Guilt

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Reality

I hate my alarm clock. I've never been a morning person, but getting out of bed these days is just so much harder than ever before. When I'm asleep, I'm allowed to forget about reality. I'm allowed to be happy and free from this awful pain. Now, sometimes my dreams are just horrid nightmares and… Continue reading Reality