Baby Loss, Daily, Joshua, Parenting After Loss

Just Barely

I'm barely hanging on. I know this.  It's been like this for months.  The weather got cold and suddenly it felt like February 22nd all over again.  I feel like I'm stuck in my own awful version of Groundhog Day.  Reliving those moments over and over again every time I'm alone for a minute. I… Continue reading Just Barely


1 Year

My Dear Joshua Patrick, My sweet boy, oh how I miss you and wish you were here with us today.  I would have baked you your very first birthday cake and laughed as you smeared the blue and white frosting across your face as you tried to mash the vanilla cake into your open mouth… Continue reading 1 Year


Capture Your Grief Project

In 1988 President Reagan proclaimed October as National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. "When a child loses his parent, they are called an orphan. When a spouse loses her or his partner, they are called a widow or widower. When parents lose their child, there isn’t a word to describe them."  - President Reagan… Continue reading Capture Your Grief Project


A New Perspective

It's easy to get wrapped up in our own lives, grief or no grief, we all do it from time to time. We focus on ourselves and forget that we are not the center of the universe and that there are others around us who are going through big life stuff too. Sometimes, we are… Continue reading A New Perspective


An Anchor of Hope

It's funny how connected I feel to others who have been through the loss of a child. This community is much bigger than I ever knew - which makes me very sad. But it is also extremely close - which makes me extremely grateful. Now, I would trade all of my new "friends" in a… Continue reading An Anchor of Hope


Re-Learning Joy

After a profound loss, it is difficult to let joy back in. Often even the happiest moments feel bittersweet. You can even feel guilty for having a moment of happiness briefly outweigh your grief. It's crazy. You can have a great day - enjoying all the little moments and then suddenly griefs pops back in,… Continue reading Re-Learning Joy


Our Story

Today, I am the guest post over at Stillborn and Still Breathing. My husband, Patrick, and I met on August 22nd, 2010.  We both quickly realized that this was different than any other relationship that had come before.  We fell in love fast and were engaged in April of 2011.  We got married on the… Continue reading Our Story


Right Where I Am: 20 weeks 1 day

Today I'm Guest Posting over at Loss Through the Looking Glass about where I am today in this journey through loss. Today, I am stronger than I ever thought possible. Today, I am weaker than I ever knew. I am thankful and blessed for what was... almost. I am broken and sad for what it now… Continue reading Right Where I Am: 20 weeks 1 day


We are Okay

It seems like everyone around us has an opinion about how we "should" be dealing with Josh's death. I hear everything from; "you guys are so strong" to "you guys should really be going to a support group/counselor/psychologist..." The truth is we are okay. We are handling things the best way we know how...together. You… Continue reading We are Okay


In Flames

  Thursday night as I watched my husband light fireworks, sparks flying in different directions and colors I couldn't help but wonder what those fireworks looked like from Heaven.  I'm sure the view is pretty amazing.  I watched the smile on Patrick's face and my heart ached.  He would be such a good daddy.  Later… Continue reading In Flames