Daily, Letters to Maddy, Madeline, Parenting After Loss

Oh darling, don’t you ever grow up

Your little hand's wrapped around my finger And it's so quiet in the world tonight Your little eyelids flutter cause you're dreaming So I tuck you in, turn on your favorite night light To you everything's funny, you got nothing to regret I'd give all I have, honey If you could stay like that Oh… Continue reading Oh darling, don’t you ever grow up


In Flames

  Thursday night as I watched my husband light fireworks, sparks flying in different directions and colors I couldn't help but wonder what those fireworks looked like from Heaven.  I'm sure the view is pretty amazing.  I watched the smile on Patrick's face and my heart ached.  He would be such a good daddy.  Later… Continue reading In Flames



Today is exactly 2 months since our due date. Today is 19 weeks since Joshua's birthday. Today I received the call that his gravestone has been placed. God, this is not how this was supposed to be... The rest of the world continues on and I'm stuck here living this nightmare over and over again.… Continue reading Today…


Broken Hallelujah

This is where I am today... Broken Hallelujah - The Afters I can barely stand right now. Everything is crashing down, And I wonder where You are. I try to find the words to pray. I don't always know what to say, But You're the one that can hear my heart. Even though I don't… Continue reading Broken Hallelujah


Love Wasted

Tomorrow I'm supposed to go see a counselor.  This isn't the first time I've made an appointment.  I keep making them and then canceling them, because well I don't really know why.  I get scared of what they will tell me.  I'm afraid they'll tell me I'm crazy and need to be on some kind… Continue reading Love Wasted



Last summer when I first heard the song Home by Phillip Phillips, I fell in love with it.  The song had heavy radio play the whole time I was pregnant with Joshua. I would sing along each time, and I loved feeling Joshua kick and move around as I sang.  I figured he either enjoyed… Continue reading Home


Does Anybody Hear Her

She is running A hundred miles an hour in the wrong direction She is trying But the canyon’s ever widening In the depths of her cold heart So she sets out on another misadventure just to find She’s another two years older And she’s three more steps behind Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?… Continue reading Does Anybody Hear Her


Send Her an Angel

Send her an angel to guard her fragile heartTo dry those tears that fall in the darkSend her an angel to hold her through the nightTo bring her love and show her lightIt’s a crazy world she’s livin’ in tonightShow her grace, tender mercy, hold her tightI know the shadows will fade when the night… Continue reading Send Her an Angel