Daily, Holidays, Madeline


This little girl right here is the very best gift I could have ever asked for.  In her 37 weeks out (plus 38 weeks in) she has filled so many of the empty and broken places in my heart. Her laugh is the most beautiful sound that I have ever heard and the way she… Continue reading Best.Gift.Ever.

Daily, Letters to Maddy, Madeline, Parenting After Loss

Oh darling, don’t you ever grow up

Your little hand's wrapped around my finger And it's so quiet in the world tonight Your little eyelids flutter cause you're dreaming So I tuck you in, turn on your favorite night light To you everything's funny, you got nothing to regret I'd give all I have, honey If you could stay like that Oh… Continue reading Oh darling, don’t you ever grow up


Madeline’s Story

I was honored to be asked by Lindsey to share Madeline's birth story over on her new site Pregnancy After Loss Support. The familiar wave of nausea had hit me hard. I crawled back in bed only to find myself huddled in the bathroom once again five minutes later. I had one test left from… Continue reading Madeline’s Story


1 Year

My Dear Joshua Patrick, My sweet boy, oh how I miss you and wish you were here with us today.  I would have baked you your very first birthday cake and laughed as you smeared the blue and white frosting across your face as you tried to mash the vanilla cake into your open mouth… Continue reading 1 Year


One More Reminder

It seemed innocent enough. It was a sleepy Sunday morning. No plans to attend church since I was still recovering from a sprained ankle after falling on the ice Friday morning. Patrick and I were cuddling on the couch and trying to find something to watch on television. We stopped on the Mickey Mouse Christmas… Continue reading One More Reminder



To wake up every day with out your precious child is one of (if not the absolute most) the most painful things that a person can ever experience. To wake up every day and have faith that God is still there in the midst of the hurt, the pain, the grief and the ache takes… Continue reading Remembering


Holidays are Hard

Last week was Thanksgiving. We had a house full of family, too much food, and many things to be grateful for, but my mind kept floating back to last year. Last year, Thanksgiving was the day we told our families that we were having a little boy. We were so excited. Earlier that week we… Continue reading Holidays are Hard



I have a confession. We had our 16 week appointment yesterday, and while to most people around me I was beyond excited (and I really was), inside I was terrified. I try to stay positive. I try to keep my faith. But truthfully, everyday is a struggle. Despite feeling the baby move while my husband… Continue reading Confession


Nervous Excitement

Two days until we have our next OB appointment and ultrasound. One of the only benefits of being considered "high risk" is monthly ultrasounds and eventually bi-weekly. We love getting extra opportunities to see our little one. This Thursday's ultrasound is extra special since the tech told us last time that she would be able… Continue reading Nervous Excitement


Halloween – Tricks and Treats

We have our orange pumpkin full of candy ready and waiting for the neighborhood kiddos to come knock on the door. I'm actively trying to ignore the thoughts in my head. As usual, it's not really working. Last year I wore a skeleton shirt with a baby skeleton on the tummy. The very first outfit… Continue reading Halloween – Tricks and Treats