Daily, Holidays, Madeline


This little girl right here is the very best gift I could have ever asked for.  In her 37 weeks out (plus 38 weeks in) she has filled so many of the empty and broken places in my heart. Her laugh is the most beautiful sound that I have ever heard and the way she… Continue reading Best.Gift.Ever.

Daily, Parenting After Loss, Pregnancy After Loss

Overcoming the Fear

As I saw this come across my Facebook wall this morning, I couldn't help but think of this in terms of my pregnancy with Madeline after losing Joshua. Losing Joshua was a horrible, awful nightmare.  It was my world crumbling.  It was life crashing down around me.  It was dreams ending.  It was the worst… Continue reading Overcoming the Fear



I feel like more and more memories are coming back to me.  I guess it's not really the memories of the actual events of the day as those have always been crystal clear, but its the memories of the emotions I felt during those first few hours, days, and weeks. Like today, out of nowhere,… Continue reading Abandoned


Madeline’s Story

I was honored to be asked by Lindsey to share Madeline's birth story over on her new site Pregnancy After Loss Support. The familiar wave of nausea had hit me hard. I crawled back in bed only to find myself huddled in the bathroom once again five minutes later. I had one test left from… Continue reading Madeline’s Story



To wake up every day with out your precious child is one of (if not the absolute most) the most painful things that a person can ever experience. To wake up every day and have faith that God is still there in the midst of the hurt, the pain, the grief and the ache takes… Continue reading Remembering


Holidays are Hard

Last week was Thanksgiving. We had a house full of family, too much food, and many things to be grateful for, but my mind kept floating back to last year. Last year, Thanksgiving was the day we told our families that we were having a little boy. We were so excited. Earlier that week we… Continue reading Holidays are Hard


“And I’ll know every tear was worth it all”

A couple months ago a friend posted a link to a video of a Shane & Shane song on Facebook.  I listened to it and then I listened to it again...and again.  Each time more and more of it sinking in, touching the broken parts of my heart.I began to sing along.  "Though You slay… Continue reading “And I’ll know every tear was worth it all”



I have a confession. We had our 16 week appointment yesterday, and while to most people around me I was beyond excited (and I really was), inside I was terrified. I try to stay positive. I try to keep my faith. But truthfully, everyday is a struggle. Despite feeling the baby move while my husband… Continue reading Confession


Nervous Excitement

Two days until we have our next OB appointment and ultrasound. One of the only benefits of being considered "high risk" is monthly ultrasounds and eventually bi-weekly. We love getting extra opportunities to see our little one. This Thursday's ultrasound is extra special since the tech told us last time that she would be able… Continue reading Nervous Excitement


The Weight of Grief

I'm guessing it's all of the rapidly approaching holidays, or maybe it's just the seasons changing. Whatever "it" is, I've noticed the grief deepening lately. The heavy weight of the hurt and the ache has slowly been building. The tears have been falling all too easily. I'm sure some of that is just pregnancy hormones… Continue reading The Weight of Grief