Daily, Holidays, Madeline

Best.Gift.Ever.

This little girl right here is the very best gift I could have ever asked for.  In her 37 weeks out (plus 38 weeks in) she has filled so many of the empty and broken places in my heart. Her laugh is the most beautiful sound that I have ever heard and the way she… Continue reading Best.Gift.Ever.

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Daily, Parenting After Loss, Pregnancy After Loss

Overcoming the Fear

As I saw this come across my Facebook wall this morning, I couldn't help but think of this in terms of my pregnancy with Madeline after losing Joshua. Losing Joshua was a horrible, awful nightmare.  It was my world crumbling.  It was life crashing down around me.  It was dreams ending.  It was the worst… Continue reading Overcoming the Fear

Daily

Abandoned

I feel like more and more memories are coming back to me.  I guess it's not really the memories of the actual events of the day as those have always been crystal clear, but its the memories of the emotions I felt during those first few hours, days, and weeks. Like today, out of nowhere,… Continue reading Abandoned

Daily

Madeline’s Story

I was honored to be asked by Lindsey to share Madeline's birth story over on her new site Pregnancy After Loss Support. The familiar wave of nausea had hit me hard. I crawled back in bed only to find myself huddled in the bathroom once again five minutes later. I had one test left from… Continue reading Madeline’s Story

Daily

Remembering

To wake up every day with out your precious child is one of (if not the absolute most) the most painful things that a person can ever experience. To wake up every day and have faith that God is still there in the midst of the hurt, the pain, the grief and the ache takes… Continue reading Remembering

Daily

Holidays are Hard

Last week was Thanksgiving. We had a house full of family, too much food, and many things to be grateful for, but my mind kept floating back to last year. Last year, Thanksgiving was the day we told our families that we were having a little boy. We were so excited. Earlier that week we… Continue reading Holidays are Hard

Daily

“And I’ll know every tear was worth it all”

A couple months ago a friend posted a link to a video of a Shane & Shane song on Facebook.  I listened to it and then I listened to it again...and again.  Each time more and more of it sinking in, touching the broken parts of my heart.I began to sing along.  "Though You slay… Continue reading “And I’ll know every tear was worth it all”