Baby Loss, Daily, Parenting After Loss

Fear and Loathing in Kansas City

I've been trying to explain my feelings lately. I've had a few who seem to think that at this point, nearly 2 years later and with Madeline here with me, that I should be "all better" now. Truthfully, some days, I feel like I am worse now at handling what happened then I was 2… Continue reading Fear and Loathing in Kansas City


Madeline’s Story

I was honored to be asked by Lindsey to share Madeline's birth story over on her new site Pregnancy After Loss Support. The familiar wave of nausea had hit me hard. I crawled back in bed only to find myself huddled in the bathroom once again five minutes later. I had one test left from… Continue reading Madeline’s Story



Somedays are so blissfully happy that to anyone looking in you wouldn't see that there was anything (anyone) missing. Somedays I wake up in the middle of the night completely panicked that something is wrong. Somedays the anxiety and fear is so much that I can barely breathe. Somedays I can hold it all together.… Continue reading Somedays



I have a confession. We had our 16 week appointment yesterday, and while to most people around me I was beyond excited (and I really was), inside I was terrified. I try to stay positive. I try to keep my faith. But truthfully, everyday is a struggle. Despite feeling the baby move while my husband… Continue reading Confession


Innocence Lost

It's surreal to think that this time last year I was pregnant with our first child. I was almost 12 weeks along. Nearing the end of the first trimester. I was looking forward to finding out the gender and to the end of morning sickness. Everyone (doctor included) kept saying how our risks of a… Continue reading Innocence Lost


Fear and Panic

This week has been so emotional and it's not over yet... Monday night I decided that I was going to go get a long overdue haircut and even add some highlights - I was feeling the need for a change. While at the salon, I discover that my stylist is about 7 months pregnant.  Awesome.… Continue reading Fear and Panic



Sometimes it is so hard to remember that God is in control when my heart still aches so deeply. I keep listening to Steven Curtis Chapman's song, Our God is in Control. I feel every word of that song so deep within my soul. Especially that line, "This is not how it should be..." God,… Continue reading Control