Daily

Abandoned

I feel like more and more memories are coming back to me.  I guess it's not really the memories of the actual events of the day as those have always been crystal clear, but its the memories of the emotions I felt during those first few hours, days, and weeks. Like today, out of nowhere,… Continue reading Abandoned

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“And I’ll know every tear was worth it all”

A couple months ago a friend posted a link to a video of a Shane & Shane song on Facebook.  I listened to it and then I listened to it again...and again.  Each time more and more of it sinking in, touching the broken parts of my heart.I began to sing along.  "Though You slay… Continue reading “And I’ll know every tear was worth it all”

Daily

Innocence Lost

It's surreal to think that this time last year I was pregnant with our first child. I was almost 12 weeks along. Nearing the end of the first trimester. I was looking forward to finding out the gender and to the end of morning sickness. Everyone (doctor included) kept saying how our risks of a… Continue reading Innocence Lost

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These Days

These days I am still breathing. Trust me when I say that that is an accomplishment. These days I am trying to choose joy over the grief. Some days I fail miserably at this. These days my grief has become more internal. I don't (usually) cry unless I'm alone or with only Patrick. I try… Continue reading These Days

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Opening The Door to Hope

Today I am blogging over at Still Standing Mag. Please stop by and say hello. Still Standing is an amazing resource and community for parents, grandparents, siblings, and anyone who has been touched by the grief and loss of a child no matter the age. If you have never checked them out before, please do.… Continue reading Opening The Door to Hope

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Checking In

Hi. Bet you thought I forgot all about this blog. I know it's been a while. I've been busy...trying to balance grief and everyday life is a full time job and honestly I needed a vacation. I needed time to figure out this next stage in our journey. There has been so much going on… Continue reading Checking In

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A Sacred Dance

Joy and grief dance around together inside my heart. Each one trying to take the lead. It is an unusual feeling to be both happy and sad at the very same moment. Every milestone brings a smile and a tear. The memories of carrying Joshua inside my womb are still so fresh...so raw. The day… Continue reading A Sacred Dance

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An Anchor of Hope

It's funny how connected I feel to others who have been through the loss of a child. This community is much bigger than I ever knew - which makes me very sad. But it is also extremely close - which makes me extremely grateful. Now, I would trade all of my new "friends" in a… Continue reading An Anchor of Hope

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Re-Learning Joy

After a profound loss, it is difficult to let joy back in. Often even the happiest moments feel bittersweet. You can even feel guilty for having a moment of happiness briefly outweigh your grief. It's crazy. You can have a great day - enjoying all the little moments and then suddenly griefs pops back in,… Continue reading Re-Learning Joy

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Our Story

Today, I am the guest post over at Stillborn and Still Breathing. My husband, Patrick, and I met on August 22nd, 2010.  We both quickly realized that this was different than any other relationship that had come before.  We fell in love fast and were engaged in April of 2011.  We got married on the… Continue reading Our Story