Daily

Abandoned

I feel like more and more memories are coming back to me.  I guess it's not really the memories of the actual events of the day as those have always been crystal clear, but its the memories of the emotions I felt during those first few hours, days, and weeks. Like today, out of nowhere,… Continue reading Abandoned

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“And I’ll know every tear was worth it all”

A couple months ago a friend posted a link to a video of a Shane & Shane song on Facebook.  I listened to it and then I listened to it again...and again.  Each time more and more of it sinking in, touching the broken parts of my heart.I began to sing along.  "Though You slay… Continue reading “And I’ll know every tear was worth it all”

Daily

Innocence Lost

It's surreal to think that this time last year I was pregnant with our first child. I was almost 12 weeks along. Nearing the end of the first trimester. I was looking forward to finding out the gender and to the end of morning sickness. Everyone (doctor included) kept saying how our risks of a… Continue reading Innocence Lost

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These Days

These days I am still breathing. Trust me when I say that that is an accomplishment. These days I am trying to choose joy over the grief. Some days I fail miserably at this. These days my grief has become more internal. I don't (usually) cry unless I'm alone or with only Patrick. I try… Continue reading These Days

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Opening The Door to Hope

Today I am blogging over at Still Standing Mag. Please stop by and say hello. Still Standing is an amazing resource and community for parents, grandparents, siblings, and anyone who has been touched by the grief and loss of a child no matter the age. If you have never checked them out before, please do.… Continue reading Opening The Door to Hope

Daily

Checking In

Hi. Bet you thought I forgot all about this blog. I know it's been a while. I've been busy...trying to balance grief and everyday life is a full time job and honestly I needed a vacation. I needed time to figure out this next stage in our journey. There has been so much going on… Continue reading Checking In

Daily

A Sacred Dance

Joy and grief dance around together inside my heart. Each one trying to take the lead. It is an unusual feeling to be both happy and sad at the very same moment. Every milestone brings a smile and a tear. The memories of carrying Joshua inside my womb are still so fresh...so raw. The day… Continue reading A Sacred Dance