I feel like more and more memories are coming back to me. I guess it's not really the memories of the actual events of the day as those have always been crystal clear, but its the memories of the emotions I felt during those first few hours, days, and weeks. Like today, out of nowhere,… Continue reading Abandoned
Tag: depression
A New Perspective
It's easy to get wrapped up in our own lives, grief or no grief, we all do it from time to time. We focus on ourselves and forget that we are not the center of the universe and that there are others around us who are going through big life stuff too. Sometimes, we are… Continue reading A New Perspective
Our Story
Today, I am the guest post over at Stillborn and Still Breathing. My husband, Patrick, and I met on August 22nd, 2010. We both quickly realized that this was different than any other relationship that had come before. We fell in love fast and were engaged in April of 2011. We got married on the… Continue reading Our Story
Right Where I Am: 20 weeks 1 day
Today I'm Guest Posting over at Loss Through the Looking Glass about where I am today in this journey through loss. Today, I am stronger than I ever thought possible. Today, I am weaker than I ever knew. I am thankful and blessed for what was... almost. I am broken and sad for what it now… Continue reading Right Where I Am: 20 weeks 1 day
We are Okay
It seems like everyone around us has an opinion about how we "should" be dealing with Josh's death. I hear everything from; "you guys are so strong" to "you guys should really be going to a support group/counselor/psychologist..." The truth is we are okay. We are handling things the best way we know how...together. You… Continue reading We are Okay
In Flames
Thursday night as I watched my husband light fireworks, sparks flying in different directions and colors I couldn't help but wonder what those fireworks looked like from Heaven. I'm sure the view is pretty amazing. I watched the smile on Patrick's face and my heart ached. He would be such a good daddy. Later… Continue reading In Flames
Today…
Today is exactly 2 months since our due date. Today is 19 weeks since Joshua's birthday. Today I received the call that his gravestone has been placed. God, this is not how this was supposed to be... The rest of the world continues on and I'm stuck here living this nightmare over and over again.… Continue reading Today…
Constant Questions
I can't stop asking why... I know life isn't fair. I know we don't always get what we want. I know that even if we do everything right that doesn't guarantee a good outcome. I know God is in control. I know that everything happens for a reason. But none of that makes this any… Continue reading Constant Questions
Tears and Rainbows
I feel like I've been neglectful of this blog lately. For a while, it was easy to share every thought that was in my head, but lately it has become more difficult. It is never easy to bare your soul. I have tried to be open and honest and real here. I have tried to… Continue reading Tears and Rainbows
Fear and Panic
This week has been so emotional and it's not over yet... Monday night I decided that I was going to go get a long overdue haircut and even add some highlights - I was feeling the need for a change. While at the salon, I discover that my stylist is about 7 months pregnant. Awesome.… Continue reading Fear and Panic
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