Thoughts From a Loss Mom on the NY Abortion Bill

May I offer a perspective on the bill that was just passed in NY.

Please note this post may feel triggering to some.

As a mom who as lost a baby, I have met many moms who had to make some very hard decisions. Many who have miscarried and then been declined a d&c because in their state it is considered a criminal offense. Many who have been given a tragic fatal diagnosis for their children. Who have been told their child will suffer pain in the womb only to die a painful death moments after birth. Loving, adoring mothers who truly love their children and know that for their family the best option is to safely terminate and spare the child and mother further pain. The mom of four who is both pregnant and recently diagnosed with cancer and in need of treatment to save her life. But she can’t have treatment while pregnant. These are not decisions made on a whim, but rather decisions made through tears, sleepless nights, and broken hearts. That is what this NY bill is for. It is about removing the criminal offense from ending a non-viable pregnancy or in the effort to save a mother’s life. Not for someone who is having a healthy, normal pregnancy and wakes randomly and decides hey I was going to have a baby tomorrow, but I think nah.

And yes, I understand that many of you believe that even with a fatal diagnosis that baby has a right to be born. Let me just say this. I have not been in this position. Until you personally have, I don’t think you can know what decision you would truly make. I have however held my child in my arms as he took his last breath and watched him die. And that is something that no one should have to do. It haunts you forever. If it is know that a baby is only going to live for a few painful moments outside of the womb, that decision really should be left to the mother, not the government. And yes, I can be a strong Christian and still believe that women have rights.

And to address the health of the mother versus the viability of a baby at 24 weeks. Yes, sometimes delivering a baby at 24 weeks is an option. Let me state here that Joshua was 29 weeks when he was born and he did not survive so 24 weeks is not exactly a great gestation. If a mother’s health is already in danger, putting her through a risky c-section procedure is not always in her best interest. And now you would have a very tiny baby with a very long NICU stay that she and hopefully there is a father or least some family support system involved to help her with. So now the mom with a serious life threatening illness or injury is tasked with caring for a very premature baby and paying for both of their surmounting medical bills. This is not always in the best interest of the family. This is where you can play the what if game all day long. There are way too many. And until it is you and your family, you really just don’t know what you would do. But the fact remains that these kind of decisions, decisions about women’s health and our families don’t belong left up to the government. We need to continue to have the choices. And yes, some people will make bad choices. And we won’t agree, but that’s not our place to judge them. Just to love them through it and continue to pray for them.

2 thoughts on “Thoughts From a Loss Mom on the NY Abortion Bill”

  1. Thank you for sharing your heart on this. I’m so sorry for you’re loss. It makes me smile knowing your baby (and mine) are both with Jesus. ❤️


  2. As a follow believer, I could not be more thankful for your post. The church is so black and white on this issue. Every situation is so different that applying the same laws to each women just does not make sense. Thank you for sharing your opinion on such a hot button subject. You are not the only one with that viewpoint!


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