Baby Loss, Daily, Joshua, Parenting After Loss

2 Years Without Him

I'm sitting here watching the Academy Awards with Patrick and Madeline. My mind keeps flashing back to 2 years ago, sitting in the hospital room, absentmindedly watching the Oscars trying to feel "normal." We ordered pizza and sat there staring at the tv. I let the mix of pain meds and Xanax take over and… Continue reading 2 Years Without Him

Baby Loss, Daily, Joshua, Letters to Josh, Monthly Letters

Two Years

Dear Sweet Joshua, Today you would be 2 years old. I want nothing more than to be planning a birthday party. Probably TMNT themed thanks to your dad's influence. I want to bake you a cake and watch you blow out the candles. I want to spoil you with presents and shower you with kisses… Continue reading Two Years

Baby Loss, The Words of Others

Ask My Mom How She Is

My Mom, she tells a lot of lies, She never did before But from now until she dies, She'll tell a whole lot more. Ask my Mom how she is And because she can't explain, She will tell a little lie because she can't describe the pain. Ask my Mom how she is, She'll say,… Continue reading Ask My Mom How She Is

Baby Loss, Daily, Joshua


I feel like this week is going to suffocate me. I see those dates on my calendar and I just want to hide under the covers until March. I've been feeling these days coming for weeks. Now they are here. How exactly do you honor your child's 2nd birthday when he is not here to… Continue reading Surviving

Daily, Review

Influenster VoxBox – #VicksCoolMist

A couple of weeks ago I received my first VoxBox from Influenster.  I knew I was receiving the Vicks VoxBox and it couldn't have come at a better time.  Madeline and I were just getting over the stomach flu and Patrick was coming down with a sinus thing and so our house was more than… Continue reading Influenster VoxBox – #VicksCoolMist

Baby Loss, Daily, Parenting After Loss

Fear and Loathing in Kansas City

I've been trying to explain my feelings lately. I've had a few who seem to think that at this point, nearly 2 years later and with Madeline here with me, that I should be "all better" now. Truthfully, some days, I feel like I am worse now at handling what happened then I was 2… Continue reading Fear and Loathing in Kansas City

Daily, Letters to Maddy, Madeline, Monthly Letters, Parenting After Loss

10 Months

Dear Sweet Madeline, Today you are 10 months old!  You are only two months away from turning 1 whole year old.   That is just so crazy to me.  These last 10 months have flown by.  You have brought such a beautiful little light into our lives and we are just over the moon in… Continue reading 10 Months