I’m barely hanging on.
I know this. It’s been like this for months. The weather got cold and suddenly it felt like February 22nd all over again. I feel like I’m stuck in my own awful version of Groundhog Day. Reliving those moments over and over again every time I’m alone for a minute.
I cry in the shower. I sob in the car. I just can’t shut my mind off no matter how hard I try to refocus.
I am so thankful for our beautiful daughter, but that doesn’t change the fact that I miss our son with every breath I take.
I’m sure its the rapidly approaching winter and the holidays that it brings with it that have worn me down.
Thanksgiving 2 years ago was the day we announced that we were having a boy. This Christmas has me acutely aware of what we are missing.