Almost Time

Tomorrow is the day.

Madeline will be welcomed into the world and into our family bright and early tomorrow morning.

To say that we are anxious is an understatement.

I sit here tonight, aware that I really should be trying to get some rest before tomorrow morning, but I have so much nervous energy that I can’t even begin to consider going to bed.  I’m so ready to meet this little girl that I have been feeling move and kick for months now, but I’m also just so scared.

Last time the whole experience was just so overwhelmingly terrifying that it is hard to shake the fear that keeps trying to steal the joy of this moment.

I’m trying my best to focus on the last few hours I have to feel her move within me.  Watching closely as my belly moves and wiggles as she squirms around.  I know I will miss these quiet moments, but right now all I want is to hear her screaming as she fills her little lungs with oxygen for the first time.  Joshua’s cry was so little and I was so out of it with the drugs they were giving me that I can’t remember his voice.  Oh, how I want to hear her voice.

We are ready.  Well, as ready as we can be.  Our bags are packed.  They have been for months.  The car seat is installed and ready to bring her home.

And I’m still holding my breath.

It all seems so surreal.  I’m overjoyed that we are to this moment.  That we are here and we are healthy.  It doesn’t even seem real yet.  I’m not sure I will be able to exhale until she is here safe and sound, or maybe not until we bring her home, or possibly not until she is 32.  I’m not really sure when I will stop worrying.  I think that is just part of being a mom though.  I know my mom still worries about me even after all these years.  It’s part of the job.

Right now I am just trying to take it moment by moment.  Breathing in these final hours with my precious baby bump, my amazing husband, and our sweet pup.

We have to be at the hospital at 6:00 a.m. tomorrow morning.  The c-section is scheduled to begin at 8:00 a.m.  We will do our best to update and post a picture or two once we are settled in and are able.

The prayers and support that we have received from you all have truly meant so much to us.  I’m sure that the thousands of prayers that have been said on our behalf have gone a long way to getting us to this point.  Please continue to pray for us as tomorrow is just the beginning of this new journey for our family.  We love you all.

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