Just in case there was any doubt that Monday’s test was positive. Patrick wanted one more test just to be 100% certain. This one erased all doubts. We are most certainly expecting our second baby!
Yesterday was rough. I was home sick from work with a horrible migraine and just couldn’t keep anything down. Oh the joys of the first trimester. I am honestly grateful for every single stomach churning second, but I wouldn’t mind if the morning sickness went away a bit quicker than last time (all day everyday for 17 weeks was rough).
I spent the day in bed and trying to call the OB and the perinatologist to make appointments and see if they could give me something for the morning sickness and migraine. After several phone calls between the two offices I finally was able to have a prescription called in and finally got some relief that evening.
We have our first appointment with the perinatologist set for August 26th. That’s the day before our anniversary so we are hoping for lots of encouraging news. Though I’m almost certain that she will tell us we should have waited longer. Oh well, it’s a little too late to change that now, and at our last meeting she said she knew we weren’t going to wait the full 9 months and to just follow our hearts. So we did.
Honestly, there was so much discussion that went into our decision, and I’m sure I will tell you more about all of it later. Just know that the decision to have another baby right now was given great thought and was done with a lot of prayer. We truly feel that this is the best decision for us. I know for many who have been through loss, 6 months is not even close to enough time to feel ready again, but we feel like we are in a good place right now. For us, the thought of delaying parenthood further was just too painful. We long to be parents, not just grieving parents. We long to hold our baby in our arms and have them safe in our home. This is our deepest desire. We feel like true healing cannot occur for us until we have a baby in our home and in our family.
This child will never ever replace Josh and the life we will forever miss with him, but this baby will allow us to fill our empty arms and give us someone that we can share all of this immense love with. We will love and miss Joshua always, but we will do our best to love him through this new precious one. Just as any parent makes room in their heart for all their children, we too have enough love for all of our children on this side of heaven and beyond.