A couple days ago this was my Facebook status:
Please kindly remove the ads for pregnancy tests and all of this baby stuff before I throw my computer through the window!
The girl who keeps desperately trying to block these ads even though they still keep showing up – aka a grieving momma.
I understand that since September of last year I had pretty much “liked” nothing but baby stores, products, and brands. So I understand that they are only going by my Facebook history, and they’re trying to target these ads towards me. I get that. However, when I came home from the hospital and first logged into Facebook one of the very first things I did was “unlike” every baby related thing that I had on my page. I didn’t need to see updates from my favorite cloth diaper stores or from Carters and Gerber every time I logged on. Now, every time I log on I’m greeted with “targeted” ads for diapers, formula, pregnancy tests, baby clothes, and toys. Even the AT&T ads are focused on sharing “precious moments” and feature children and babies in all of them. Last night there were 3 AT&T ads on my sidebar – one had two young boys with their mom, one had a baseball glove and ball (Josh’s nursery/shower theme was going to be baseball), and the third one had a smiling baby. Seriously?!?! Salt + Wound = A lot of unnecessary pain.
All of these things all have become painful reminders that I have about 50 BumGenius diapers sitting in a box in my basement along with a huge stack of the cutest clothes that Josh will never get to wear. I have a crib, a mattress, a changing table, a swing, a bouncer, a car seat, stuffed animals, toys, bottles, a breast pump, a partially filled in baby book, bibs, blankets, shower invitations, nursery decorations, pacifiers, and who knows what all else. They all sit in our basement covered with a sheet just waiting. I don’t know what to do with any of it.
Part of me wanted to return everything because even if/when we do have another baby I’m not sure I can stand the idea of him or her using the same things that we had so excitedly bought/received for Josh. I think part of me will always wonder how Josh would have looked in that cute little onesie, denim jacket, or little plaid overalls all with an extra fluffy bottom from the cloth diapers.
Then again there is this other part of me that says we are already stocked and ready to go for our next baby and maybe if we were to have another son it would be comforting to see him get to wear and use the things we had bought for his big brother. Besides, that stuff is all I have left to hold onto. Part of me doesn’t want anyone else to use it or have it, because it was meant for Josh and I selfishly think if he can’t use it then no one can. I don’t know. I’m not sure there is a right or wrong way to handle any of this.
Maybe if/when we have another child we’ll have a little baby girl and none of the clothes will matter anyway. Either way seeing that stack of baby stuff covered in the corner of my basement is enough of a painful memory of what we lost without Facebook trying to shove it down my throat.
For the record apparently when you click to “hide” an ad and tell them you are removing it because your baby died in February and so you won’t be needing any Pampers diapers anytime soon, they don’t really take notice…