It’s Not Goodbye

Today is the service for our Joshua Patrick. The reality of having to put his sweet, tiny, beautiful body in the ground makes me literally sick. My heart feels like it is breaking all over again today. Please say some extra prayers for us today as goodbye is just something we have no desire to do. I’m having a hard time with the knowledge that I should still be pregnant. I wish upon everything that I could have kept safely tucked away inside me until May. It is a tough realization knowing that having him so early might have been to save my own life, especially when I would have easily laid mine down for his. I don’t understand God’s plan in this. Patrick and I love children so very much and talked about wanting kids since we began dating. It is difficult to understand how God would put such a strong desire in our hearts and then take away our son. We will love him always, but we will always grieve all of the amazing plans we had for him. Mommy and Daddy love you, our sweet boy, our dear Joshua.

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