Lately, it feels like I have been neglecting so many things that I know I should be doing. I’m procrastinating on the Christmas gifts that I am making, my stories are going unwritten and unedited, even this site has been somewhat abandoned (don’t let the daily posts fool you – I have not been devoting the time nor the energy I would like).
I think there really is something to be said for that whole theory on how people tend to get depressed more often in the autumn and the winter. It is cold and I just want to stay in bed. I’m not depressed just apathetic. I don’t feel like Christmas is merely weeks away – it still feels like it is months from coming.
Normally, I really love this time of year. I love that the leaves have fallen into piles of bright red and golden orange. I love that soon the trees will be covered with a fresh blanket of pure white snow. I love that it is the season where I get the chance to slow down and visit with family that I don’t see that often. I love baking cookies with my mom and Christmas shopping with my niece, but this year I’m just not in the mood. I don’t know if it is just still too early, or what it is.
This will be my third Christmas without my Grandma, and maybe that is part of it. Her birthday is in December and she always became the biggest kid at Christmas time. She loved it, and without her it just doesn’t feel the same. I know that Christmas will never be quite the same, but I also know she wouldn’t want me to be in this funk, so I’m going to try my best to get out of it. I’m going to un-neglect things. I’m going to get my projects completed and go back to my book – it’s been neglected for far too long.