Dark Day

Do you remember that episode of Gilmore Girls, the one from the fifth season, where Luke has his "Dark Day?"  Well, today is kind of like that for me.  Two years ago today is the day that my grandma passed away.  Today is a day that I have been dreading since I flipped my calendar over to July.  It is really no different than any other day – as I miss her dreadfully everyday.  Yet, today it feels more real.  I’ve barely slept the past couple of weeks.  It seems that every time I close my eyes all I can do is think about that day – kneeling next to her hospital bed – holding her hand – praying for God to just take care of her.  It really is impossible to turn my mind off. It just hurts.  I’m not sure how to make it stop.  Part of me is afraid to.  Afraid that if the pain stops, that means the memories will stop too, and that someday I won’t be able to hear her voice as sharply, or see her face as clearly.  I know it is crazy to think that I will forget her – it’s impossible.  All the same, remembering hurts right now. 

2 thoughts on “Dark Day”

  1. I know how you feel. My grandmother passed away last December and there are still certain things that happen that will trigger my memories of her. And I’ll miss her and want to share it with her. Isn’t that crazy? I feel a little crazy.


  2. Torie:I’m so sorry that your grandma’s passing causes you such pain. You won’t forget her… it will always hurt to some degree, but you won’t forget her.Be well.


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