I always, naively, think that things would be better if…
That things will all work out great if I can only…
Sometimes, the things I need to do are impossible, and so that grass on the other side of the fence always seems to be just a bit greener than where I stand.
Then other times I achieve my goal, and then I am hit with the reality of the other side of the fence. The grass isn’t as green as I thought it would be.
I wish that I could somehow achieve that green grass/ideal goal. Right now, I’m reaching the end of my life as a undergraduate college student. I am entering into what many people call “the real world.” I have achieved the goal of obtaining a degree. I understand that this is a definite grass is green moment, but at the same time I feel like I’m still peeking over fences.
I have no idea of what I’m doing after graduation. My resume is in at all kinds of places – newspapers, publishers, schools, advertising agencies, professional offices, and I can’t even name all of the places. I have heard back from four places so far. I’m still unsure of whether or not I want to be done with school. Part of me really wants to continue my education. Even with that I am unsure of what I want. Part of me wants to get my Masters or MFA in English. Part of me wants to get my second bachelors in English Education.
Part of me wants to go in a completely different direction and get my second bachelors in Sociology or Social Work. Lately, I have felt such an intense pull in that direction. I really have a heart/passion for working with young girls, and I would really like to find some place that would allow me to help today’s young girls from becoming troubled girls.
See to me it seems like no matter what I choose the grass will always seem greener on the other side. Right now I just want to succeed and be happy. Is that too much to ask for?